Stop Apologising for Your Golf: You Belong on the Course Too

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There’s a phrase heard far too often on golf courses.

“Sorry, I’m not very good.”

It might be said on the first tee. After a missed putt. When someone takes an extra shot from a bunker. Or when a newer golfer finds herself paired with players she assumes are more experienced.

For many women, apologising for their golf has almost become part of playing the game.

But it shouldn’t be.

You don’t have to be good at golf to deserve to play golf

Golf is unusual in that beginners, recreational players and highly experienced golfers can all share the same course. That’s one of the things that makes the game special. You don’t need a perfect swing to tee it up. You don't need the latest equipment. You don't need to know every Rule of Golf before your first round. And you certainly don't need to apologise for learning. Every golfer has topped a ball, three-putted a green, found a bunker they desperately wanted to avoid and hit a shot into a place they didn't even know existed. The better golfers simply have more experience recovering from them.

Confidence doesn't have to come before participation

It's tempting to think:

I'll play in an event when I'm better.

Or:

I'll join a group when I feel more confident.

But confidence rarely arrives while we're waiting for it.

It develops through experience. Playing with other people. Learning the rhythm of a round. Discovering that nobody is analysing your swing as closely as you are. Realising you can pick up your ball when necessary, keep moving and still enjoy the day. Each experience makes the next one easier.

Know the difference between ability and etiquette

Being inexperienced is not poor etiquette. You can be a complete beginner and still be wonderful to play golf with. Keep up with your group. Be ready when it's your turn. Look after the course. Be aware of where others are playing. Help watch for balls. And most importantly, enjoy the company. Nobody expects every golfer to shoot par. Good playing partners care far more about your attitude than your handicap.

Golf needs women who are still learning

Sometimes we see accomplished women playing golf and assume they represent what a “golfer” should look like. They don't. The woman taking her first lesson is a golfer. The woman returning after 20 years away is a golfer. The woman playing nine holes because 18 doesn't suit her life is a golfer. The woman without a handicap is a golfer. And the woman who has just hit two balls into the water?

She's still a golfer.

At the Australian Women's Golf Network, one of the things we want women to discover is that there is room in this game for them right now - not at some imaginary point when their golf becomes “good enough.”

So next time you're tempted to stand on the first tee and say, “Sorry, I'm not very good,” try something different. Say hello. Tee up your ball. And play.

You belong there.